It’s like looking in a mirror.

Bethany: tv stand complete
it looks stable
hopefully

Caitlin: woo!
is the tv on it?

Bethany: no

Caitlin: fail

Sent at 2:59 AM on Friday

Bethany: come help me lift it?

Caitlin: my arms are too puny

Sent at 3:02 AM on Friday

Bethany: mine too :(
need to stop gym skipping

Sent at 3:04 AM on Friday

Bethany: it seems really racist to me that all the witches on this show are black
all the vampires are white
regular people tend to be white too on this show

Caitlin: that sounds like a close semblance to real life.

Sent at 3:06 AM on Friday

Bethany: (watching vampire diaries btw)
but now that I think about it
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a black vampire
not on true blood
oh
there was one in twilight
but just one
out of a bajillion vampires
and they kill him off anyways

Caitlin: yessss

Bethany: I mean
I guess it goes against the vampires are pale thing
and like, I get that with drac being from transylvania, that it makes sense for him to be white
on a side note
the new harry potter looks off the hook
I can’t believe I get that and bflo in the same weekend

Sent at 3:10 AM on Friday

Bethany: and I have never ever seen an asian vampire
do they even exist?
is it that vampires don’t want asians or that asians are just really smart about fending them off?
like vamps can’t get past the great wall or something
I can’t decide if my thought train right now is racist or anti-racist

Caitlin: i can’t….
even….
respond to this.
i don’t know how.

Bethany: seriously
have you ever seen an asian vampire?
hm
google shows asia to be rich in vampire culture
so maybe americans are just anti-asian vampires
and that’s why we never see them in our pop culture

Sent at 3:15 AM on Friday

Caitlin: we should go to asia and test this.
maybe they never see western vampires?

Sent at 3:18 AM on Friday

Bethany: omg
they probably don’t
how do they function without twilight?
and also
when did the vampire genre become so pansy?
was it twilight?
or did that happen before that?
I mean true blood has fairies
how girlie is that?
weaksauce
I’m done with that
and twilight sparkles
what happened to my scary, violent vampire stories?
I want the days of nosferatu

Caitlin: they went to asia
>v.v<
that is an asian vampire.
his teeth and eyes are in a line.
and his teeth are higher than his nose. whatever.

Bethany: nosferatu was scary
but that is german
which makes sense
they know scary
they had nazis
teeth-eyed vampires are scary
nice work

Caitlin: i've made asians frightening again.

cdean:
not to different yet.
but getting close.

Dale:
What’s that mean?
IS THAT A THREAT?

cdean:
i thought we were discussing a destination.

Dale:
…what?

cdean:
stop.
read what you said.
think about it.
read what i said.
return to conversation.

Dale:
You gotta be a bitch about everything, don’t you

cdean:
yes.

Tonight we managed to the following simultaneously to engage with one another:
Skype video
Skype text
Facebook chat
Facebook wall post
SMS
Twitter

If only I’d been logged into gchat or AIM….

In the left corner, we present the magical, grammar-defying: FUSHIGI.

In the right, the challenger: CANDWICH.

Fushigi moves in quick with the prayer cross chokehold, but Candwich pops out a candy surprise. Candwich jams up Fushigi’s next move, but Fushigi counters with its specialty enigma blow. It looks like Fushigi might have it with that move, but Candwich has a long shelf-life and isn’t ready to tap out yet. Candwich grabs at Fushigi and goes for a choke, but Fushigi somehow defies gravity and eludes Candwich before dropping his specialty move, The Wiper, on Candwich. Candwich has been crushed.

Champion: Fushigi. That’s the art of Fushigi.

Anyway, we’ve been up to a milli shenanigans. Most of them are far too shenanigany for this blog. So I’ll just leave this transcription of a text message exchange I had with Drewsky a couple weeks ago.

d: is 30 dolla for a liter of jack normal?
c: no. i think it should be like twenty. i’ve only bought it once though. why are you buying jack?
d: for a friend. i got one bottle of sweet tea for 19 and a liter of jack, my total was 58
c: weird…
d: i should have asked
c: agreed
d: maybe i got premium
d: stronger alc.
d: lol i got sweet tea peach…danger
c: YUM!
c: you up to shenanigans tonight?
d: maybe wanna join? i need to celebrate.
c: um maybe. depends what. i can’t drink. i am so hungover haha.
c: i could maybe sober drive if you need.
d: show at uptown with sarah n britney n peps[sic]?
c: um what show?
d: is a fifth a liter!
d: i mean ?
d: i mean ?
d: i mean ?
c: a fifth is three fourths of a liter
d: damn i asked the wrong ppl
c: ? i mean i think that is right. it is what yahoo answers said anyway haha
d: i got him a liter
d: 750 lm[sic] is what
c: a fifth. little over one fifth of a gallon. fucking metrics.
d: so…mls?
c: eh?
d: how many milliliters would that be?
c: 750
d: 750 is one fifth?
c: yes lol
d: what’s a liter?
d: it’s also 750…
d: or i just got schooled by a 19 year old lmao i’m over this

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hey i need help

You: u have facebook?

Stranger: yeah

You: ok can i send you my friends profile?

You: they went missing last night

You: after we fell asleep in the woods

Stranger: this is weird…

You: i don’t know what to do

You: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?=743264506

Stranger: wtf? that’s my facebook…

You: [directed by M. Night Shyamalan]

Stranger: wtf?

You have disconnected.

—

*Originally saw this here.

Operating hydraulic exoskeltons.

…

An awesome new bedtime story, Alien vs. Pooh, can be found and should be read here.

Here:

With one of these:

Oh and I think maybe I want to write a book, too.

Kthx.